"What's wrong?" he asked, his eyes flickering with worry as he cupped her cheek in his hands.
They fit perfectly in so many ways: his shoulder dipping quintessentially for when she leaned against him; their hands fitting just right when their fingers intertwined; their bodies conforming flawlessly against each other when he held her against his chest.
"Nothing." she replied, her mouth twitching into a small, sad smile.
She was a pandora box that he was perpetually trying to open. He wanted her in all the ways that he couldn't - even though he hadn't the slightest clue of what the box held. She had warned him since the very beginning that her inner demons were not something that could be easily dealt with, but he took the warning as a challenge to overcome the evil with her - if not for her. She foolishly took faith in his determination, truly believing that someone could save her from the entrapment of the box.
"Tell me," he coaxed as he searched her eyes for remediation, "I don't want you to do this alone".
The hairline crack in her heart fractured the slightest bit. It hurt her to feel so cautious about loving him when he was trying so hard to love her. How could he even join the battle if she wouldn't open the fortress doors for him to enter? She looked at him with uncertainty, only to be met with determined eyes full of promise. He wanted to save her, and she? She, too, wanted so badly to be saved.
She climbed into his lap, letting his arms wrap around her as to shield her from the chaos surrounding her. It was as if his arms could keep her sanity contained, and as she laid there, his chest rising up and down, everything was at peace. He would never know how much this serenity meant to her. He was her form of escapism. She was terrified that once he became engaged with her demons, neither of them would be able to escape.
Gently, she brushed her lips against his, as to say, "please, don't let this ruin us". He kissed her back unyieldingly, as to respond, "let me protect you".
She took a deep breath and pulled the box from underneath her baggage. With a huff, she blew away the thick layer of dust that had blanketed the box. It had been a while since she trusted someone enough to reveal the contents - 3 years to be exact. Slowly, she creaked the lid open and watched as her evils seeped out. He took the first one and brushed it away effortlessly with promises of a better future. He took on the second with the same, unaltered haughtiness. And the third, and the fourth.
She felt invincible with him beside her. She frolicked with him through the burning forests, hand in hand. The fires lit their way.
On a night before dawn, they climbed onto a cliff that overlooked the entire war zone. Going up, they could see how beautiful the sky was - tainted with hues of pink and lavender, as if to mark the end of another battle. As they approached the top, he held her in his arms, and she felt an overwhelming sense of victory bubbling within her chest. They were almost there, she could almost be free. The two of them standing there was the true definition of irony: serenity amongst chaos.
And then they looked behind them.
The fires flickered and lapped in tongues of flames, and beyond the burning tree line, the forest floor was blackened with dust and ash. The entire scene visually paralleled that of the night sky. Yet, the sky signified hope, and the forest - death.
She grabbed his hand to venture forward, excited to continue moving towards the top, but came to an abrupt stop. He stood unmoving, his gaze wavering with uncertainty. Her heart began to sink. She didn't have to ask to know what he was thinking. She knew his determination had begun to vanish along with the smokey fumes that twirled towards the night sky. He was done fighting.
"Maybe you should go back and apologize", he said, his eyes flitting towards the burning forests, "we can continue fighting when we're ready in the future". Without protest, she looked at him with sad, smiling eyes, and a quick nod. He had already done so much for her, and she could not have asked for anymore. She knew he wasn't ready to see what was beyond the cliff. He had thought that he could battle her demons for her, but after careful recollection, he realized that winning the battle meant sacrificing his own angels, too. He wasn't ready to do so. He took her hand and led her back towards the forest, the fumes intoxicating her lungs. She felt herself slowly break, but kept composed for his sake. She understood that this battle was not his to begin with, and for him to sacrifice anything would be something that she did not deserve.
He brought her back to the spawn of the battlefield and settled her down on the dust and the ashes. He made promises of a better future, and left her to return to his angels. She sat there drawing infinity signs into the ashes with her finger until her entire hand had turned black. Forever wasn't with him, forever was with her demons.
Every time he came to visit, she would riddle the forest floor with white petals. She strung up little lights onto the sparse branches of the saplings that survived the inferno.
"Is everything okay?", he would ask, with the same concern flickering in his eyes.
"Yes, of course.", she would respond with unwavering certainty. She was becoming so good at lying that she could fool herself.
They would hold each other, and love each other until he would have to leave her again. And when he did leave her, she let herself cry exponentially harder because every lie she told him was equivalent to swallowing acid.
When he was gone, she would pull down the string lights and set the petals on fire. She curled herself onto the ashy floor, and tucked her box back under her baggage.
It's ironic how someone can be both your salvation and demise.
